Love Part 2: To Love is to Lose, but not to FAIL!

by Michael

In part 1 I talked about the first characteristics of love: patience and kindness. I now want to move on and look at two more qualities

it is not arrogant or rude.

The difficult piece for people to swallow here is not being rude. I think everyone is familiar with just how rude our friends and family can be. However, we often feel justified in our rudeness, and think that other people deserve it. In reality, it doesn’t matter. Despite how loathsome and ignorant someone is; if you love them, do not be rude to them. (This may be asking for trouble, but) if you call yourself a Christian, and know you are to love everyone that means you are also expected not to be rude to anyone for any reason. I’ll wait for you to stop cursing before I continue…

Love does not put itself above others and it does not put itself before others. In saying that love is not arrogant, we are declaring that we will not hold ourselves to be superior. This can mean that we do not feel that we are the stronger person in a relationship, that we don’t need them, they need us. It also means that we do not believe our thoughts actions and beliefs to be better than someone else’s. We could even go so far as to say love means humility–it means looking the fool, accepting defeat and yielding to someone else (even when they’re being stupid).

It does not insist on its own way;

A hard thing about being in a relationship is that even if only sometimes, we feel neglected or we have something we are interested in that the other is not. This is complicated by the fact that the wants and/or needs of the other person may be contradictory to our way. In all situations, we are not to insist on our own way. The emphasis on insist is key, because we should not feel that we should never deserve to get our way or that we must always do everything the other person wants. This passage is simply expressing that we do not force people to serve us, to do what we want or to do something our way. However, we can ask and sometimes, people want to oblige us. In those cases, there is no harm. As it so happens, we might extrapolate from this passage that when we are faced with circumstances where another person is asking something of us, that we should make a reasonable effort to oblige them. It might be that we can say no (I’m not sure on this one yet).

So, love is patient, kind, humble, and selfless. It is not easy to live like this. If you’re still with me, great! But don’t get too excited, because we still have three more assertions to go–and none of them include satisfaction, happiness or me-time.